Template:Song/Role Model"Role Model" is a song by American hip hop artist Eminem. It is the ninth track on his album The Slim Shady LP (1999). It was produced by Dr. Dre and Mel-Man.


Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
 You can try this at home
 You can be just like me
 Mic check one two
 We recording?

[Verse 1]
I'm cancerous
 So when I diss you wouldn't want to answer this
 If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I strangle you to death then I choke you again
And break your fucking legs til your bones poke through your skin
You beef with me I'mma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally
I get too blunted off of funny home grown
Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono (oh no!)
So if I said I never did drugs
 That would mean I lie and get fucked more than the President does
Hilary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
 I ripped her fucking tonsils out and fed her sherbet (bitch!)
My nerves hurt and lately I'm on edge
 Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blond dreads (come here)
Every girl I ever went out with has gone lez
Follow me and do exactly what the song says
Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school, kill people and drink
Jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
 So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white, ignoring skill
 Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed
 Y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white? I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
 Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

[Hook 1]
 Now follow me and do exactly what you see
 Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I slap women and eat 'shrooms then O.D
 Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

[Verse 2]
Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
 When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold
 Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
 Killed them both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it)
My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player just a ill rhyme sayer
That'll spray a Aerosol can up at the ozone layer
My rap style's warped
 I'm running out the morgue
 With your dead grandmother's corpse
 To throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on
 And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I'm about as normal as Norman Bates
 With deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother, are you there?
 I love you
 I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Will someone please explain to my brain
 That I just severed a main vein
 With a chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sigh
 Either I'm high or I'm nuts
 Cause if you ain't tilting this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
 Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her
Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with
I bought Cage's tape, opened it and dubbed over it

[Hook 2]
I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
 Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I've been with ten women who got HIV
 Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
 I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
 Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
 You probably want to grow up to be just like me