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If I Had is a song by Eminem on The Slim Shady EP and The Slim Shady LP. It is 4:05 minutes long. It is thought to be about Eminem wanting the entire world to go "fuck" themselves and bow down to him because they doubted him, and he proved them wrong.

LyricsEdit

[Intro]
(spoken) "Life", by Marshall Mathers. What is life? Life is like a big obstacle, put in front of your optical to slow you down; and every time you think you've gotten past it, it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground. What are friends? Friends are people that you think are your friends, but they really your enemies, with secret identities and disguises, to hide their true colors. So just when you think you're close enough to be brothers, they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't looking. What is money? Money is what makes a man act funny. Money is the Root of all Evil. Money'll make them same friends come back around, swearing that they was always down! What is life? I'm tired of life!

[Verse 1]
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins
I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and darting off
I'm tired of jobs starting off at $5.50 an hour
Then this boss wonders why I'm smarting off
I'm tired of being fired every time I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
For this jerk breathing down my neck, driving me berserk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Builder's Square
Tired of not being a millionaire

[Hook]
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand
I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out robbing armored trucks!
If I had one wish,
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss!

[Verse 2]
I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
I'm tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blond whore after work
In the back of a Contour
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringing half the skill as me
Saying they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"
I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of JLB saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

[Hook]
But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand
I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
It wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out robbing armored trucks!
If I had one wish,
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss!

[Outro]
(spoken) You know what I'm saying? I'm tired of all of this bullshit! Telling me to be positive? How am I supposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?! Know what I'm saying? I rap about shit around me, shit I see, know what I'm saying? Right now I'm tired of everything! Tired of all this player-hating that's going on in my own city: Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm saying? But hey, it's cool though, you know what I'm saying? I'm just fed up! That's my word!

VideoEdit

Eminem- If I Had (w Lyrics)04:07

Eminem- If I Had (w Lyrics)

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